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This is lawful desire. It was God in him desiring to release the fullness of itself through his lifestream; and under all adversity or the facing of karma or initiation, he could not be altered because of his love of God as the dharma and his oneness with his desire to produce, to release all of the God that was in him.
<blockquote>... and so I reprieved this wretched life—truly wretched, a body so sensitive that a change of any rapidity may alter my state from very good to very bad. Patience—that’s the word, she it is I must take for my guide; I have done so—lasting I hope shall be my resolve to endure, till it please the inexorable Parcae<ref>In Roman mythology, the Fates, who controlled the thread of life of every man.</ref> to sever the thread. It may be things will go better, may be not; I am prepared—already in my twenty-eighth year forced [by his handicap of deafness]—to turn philosopher: it is not easy, for an artist harder than for anyone. O God, Thou seest into my inward part, Thou art acquainted with it, Thou knowest that love to man and the inclination to beneficence dwell therein. O my fellow-men, when hereafter you read this, think that you have done me wrong; and the unfortunate, let him console himself by finding a companion in misfortune, who, despite all natural obstacles, has yet done everything in his power
to take, to take rank amongst good artists and good men.<ref>Ibid., pp. 46–47.</ref></blockquote>
Is this not all that God asks of us? To face all natural obstacles in our lives, whatever they may be, and not to be drowned in the tears of our own self-pity or sense of injustice about what life has given us but to do everything in our power to rank among the good artists, the ascended masters, and the good men, their chelas.